tyler is jessa's love

from a bum

I walked out of work today and there was a bum riding a bike. As he passed me he said, "Marry me will ya? just marry me!" I laughed and I thought, "At least someone wants me." Not in a sad way, just in a- "why isn't everybody as open as that?" I think its really ingrained in us these days to be cool, so much that people don't just openly like one another. I called Alissa and we talked about the moment that had just happened. We discussed that we wished that boys would just come up to us if they think we are cute, just come up and talk. It's no big deal. Guys don't do that though, they look, and then they look away. It's so annoying. Just be cool! Tell me if you are into me, be like the bum "Marry me!"

analytics

Whenever I check my google analytics I am excited by the traffic I get. Then I think to myself....what if most of the hits are from me? I think they are, I often check my blog for comments even if I'm not signed in. I'll check it up to 5 times in one day. I live for comments, I'm a sucker for comments, don't hold it against me.

central park saturday, pictures by alpha smoot

saturday night

It was never going to work anyway.

I have this problem with my hair

I am increasingly looking like Liam Gallagher these days

title???

old bear

i voted for matt wood

Little known fact: last year, I didnt vote for obama. I penciled in Matt Wood for President.

still fun, rowing boats in central park

still cool

2007-3.18.09

3.15.09/10.30.08

dragon

the men in my life are all scoundrels

and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

temperments

I have always led a pretty private life. Knowing this I said to my sister "I wonder what mom thinks of me, what she thinks I'm like." Raime said that she thinks I'm very sensitive. I said, "Well I am, its true." Then Raime said that they (the rest of the fam) are more like the Kardashians. I've never seen that show so I don't really know what it means.

my mom is getting a little famous in the airbrush world

I would like to send these pictures to a lover someday and say "this is the family you could be a part of, are you ready?" My mom is the coolest. She is in airbrush magazine this month, and is being flown all over the country to do demonstrations at makeup conventions. I love that this is such a big part of our family, its really the one thing I know of that has been a tradition for us my whole life. Making people look really really scary has always brought us together. I still remember the feeling of the cold air on my hand as a little girl when my mom would airbrush hearts on me. I know I talk about it a lot, but its so great!

i had to get out of bed to blog this

I used to be the Provo rollidex. I had nearly every friends phone number in Provo up until about 2 years ago, then Provo got too big to know everyone so I couldn't/didn't want to keep up. Tonight I was bored and decided to clear up some of the clutter in my phone and I was blown away by all the numbers I had from the old days. Now that I think of it, Chris Coy did an art piece for the LP show that Eva threw when I first moved to Provo. It was just everybody's phone numbers on a piece of white board. That piece was very indicative of who was hot at the time. I loved it. Anyway, tonight I erased numbers such as the pink house, pizza pipeline, melissa tripiani, chris allman's dad cell, chris allman's house line, cullen's house line, bishop howell, morgan handley, ellen, jefferson, andy martin, and casey lesuer Okay, maybe I still have the pizza pipeline number, it has a different name every 6 months, but the number is always the same. Does anybody know if it is still called something that has to do with a dragon?

one time

One time Arthur went to kiss me romantically late at night and I had my night guard in.

I'm trying really hard

I went out with the mormons. If you call me on the telephone I will tell you about it. I deserve an e for effort, but it will have to be at least 2 months before I try again. For now I'm sticking to 3 hours on Sundays.

last week in union square

you might have already heard this story from me, but I'll tell it again. I was in Union Square, walking and listening to music, when a pretty cool/maybe crazy/black guy was walking toward me. As we crossed paths he gave me a full body high energy double thumbs up! I don't know what it was for, but it was awesome. I was listening to Uffie at the moment so it could have been the hop in my step that he noticed, but that really made my day. I was grinning ear to ear for at least another block.

bedford ave

So I was walking home from church, and I was just in love with everyone around me. I wanted to hug people, say hi, and invite them over for pancakes. This is something I feel a lot of the time, but people on Bedford are so damn unapproachable. I guess all I can do is just try anyway, but man, I wish people would look up and smile once and a while around here. It would make approaching them a lot easier.

am i just really into older men?

I saw a guy last night probably in his late 30's, the blackest hair I have ever seen, and silver round frame glasses. Beaten brown leather shoes, olive skin with lots of lines, and about 6' 2". He was 0% hip, 100% hot. And he was drinking one of those little cardboard cartons of milk. Who drinks milk "to go" style on the subway? I thought it was so funny, and he had a very comfortable presence, like the L train was his living room. Anyway, I was helpless, when he got in the train he walked all the way from the end of it and stood right in front of me. I got to look at him from 1st avenue to Bedford. So my question is, how do you talk to someone you are completely enamored with? And 2, what do you do when they might be more than 10 years older than you?

februrary 2009

Let today be marked as the first time I have felt homesick since moving out of my house January 7 2004...or was it 03, I can't remember? People have often asked me if I miss home, I never really do but I wondered what it would feel like. Well, now I know.

March preview

I started listening to a 60 minute track of whale sounds and discovered its the best thing to listen to when I'm working. T.rex came on afterwards, which is great, but instead I put the whales on repeat.

I've been working on this for a while

feel free to check it out HERE

on his way to Ireland he asked me to hold on to his grandmother's diamond ring

I forgot about these goodies

naughty boys

Tyler and Seth sent the missionaries to my house. They left a note on my door that was really cute. This of course led to my roommate and I talking religion. It was really fun actually, I always forget that I know anything, and then I start talking, and it turns out I learned a thing or two after 26 years of church. Depending if I get everything done today, I think I will give them a call. My heart goes out to those 19 year old boys in suits. Did you know that even in Manhattan, they only get 10 dollars a day for food?

DIN

I'm in need of DIN, and dinner, but I need DIN more. Anyone have it?

today at work

the burn

I dare you to take one drop of oil of oregano.

a project

My friend Matthew makes great jewelry. We shot some of it last weekend.

My Dad showed me this one

Last night

So I have a new goal to get out of the house at least once a week despite the freezing cold weather that likes to keep me inside watching tv on the internet (I never knew 30 Rock was so funny!). Anyway, last night I went to a free STREB Slam show at the trapeze school I went to in the summer of 07. This video is from 2 years ago, it gives you an idea of what it was like, but the show I saw was really different but just as amazing.

The audience all sat on the gigantic 4 ft thick mat below the trapeze swings. It felt very neighborhoody. We all were squished together on this oversized pillow, watching the dancers perform. There were kids all around, I met a dad named Dan who thought I looked familiar, and some 12 year old boy kept doing backflips on the mat way off in the corner. It was a good time.

I want to be Evil

Thoughts in 30 seconds or less

1. If I had a lot of money, I would buy a smart car and the back would say "hello bitches".
2. Little known fact - I've always thought that Barbara Streisand is amazing.
3. Tattoo sleeves make me swoon big time
4. Batman is still the coolest.

snow snow snow

there has been so much snow falling just in the past few days. I'm a little unsure of it, it's not unfamiliar, but I kind of forgot winter existed. I guess it is more that I have only experienced New York in the summer. I'm confused by the snow, it changes everything, especially my internet connection.

the moon is so bright tonight!

article
The moon is the closest its been to the earth in 15 years. Its so bright it burns my eyes! (just a little). I love how the moon effects the earth's tides. I like to romance about how it changes the tide in our blood as well. Look at the chart, the blue is the predicted tide rise, and the red is the actual tide rise. Its so high! Its like the earth is in a big bathtub and its creeping in just a little more to stay warm.

canvas of possibilities

so i have a 7 foot blank white canvas. i was originally going to paint a bear on it, but since that would only add to the masculinity of the already masculine decor, I would like to paint something else. I'm not terribly good at anything abstract, although I might take a stab at it, but really I'm looking for some simple solutions to the canvas. I'm looking for solutions that are feminine, and only require about 10 hours of work. Any ideas?

blah blah blah

I'm here in new york and sometimes everything seems possible. I'm still searching for the key though. I request to be sprinkled with the magic dust of luck, or given a handbook, or just given money I suppose, to make those possibilities a reality. What specifically do I want? I guess I just want to feel purposeful and glamorous, although those two things rarely go together. I want to understand what is going on in Manhattan and I want to get out of Greenpoint. For now though, the cold will keep me in on Saturday night, and will keep me in Greenpoint at least until April.

a delightful saturday

I was robbed

I came home and the computers, my ipod, and an old phone were gone. The desk was disheveled and there was an old potato sack sitting on the chair. There were also rotten potatoes sitting in the kitchen. I was alone, all these things seemed very strange to me. My phone also wasn't working so for a moment I thought I was caught in an alternate universe. Instead of dwelling on that for too long, I got my phone to work and called the police. I tried to explain that it wasn't an emergency, I wasn't in danger, but I was just "robbed". Robbed like what happens in movies and bad daytime television shows. They assured me that it did classify as an emergency and that police would be right over. I waited a long time, Tyler Matt and I had thai food take out dinner in the crime scene area. The cops eventually came. They were short round men with thick Brooklyn accents. They told me this kind of thing happens all the time in this area and we just have to be extra careful, but if they want to get in, they're going to get in. Then the detectives arrived, more crew cuts and Brooklyn accents. There were about 6 huge men in uniform filling up the apartment until 11:00 at night. My apartment is small, so they had to turn sideways to get past eachother whenever they moved. They dusted for prints, and talked about the "pattern guy". The pattern guy rides a bike around the neighborhood and steals stuff, this particular incidence wasn't him I guess. I was informed several times that I live in Brooklyn, and only a subway ride away from East Brooklyn where 90% of the state penitentiary comes from. So that's it, I was robbed, burgled, thieved, all I learned was that I need renters insurance.

so good

Halloweenz

oh yeah, and this is crazy

click on the fashion section of NYLON's website and you will find my pictures. I don't even remember sending them these. A little story to these pictures, the day we shot that model I was wearing that gingham shirt, I decided it would look good with the backpack against green. I gave her my shirt (I bought it from Nordstrom in Utah) and we shot it. Months later, here it is on Nylon. The products are less eventful, however it is cool to see them up there too. However, Nylon gave credit to Paul Frank and Pottery Barn which makes me kind of mad since those are my images for fredflare.com. I don't know how that whole thing works, but they really should be giving fred flare the credit.

realizations

Last night I was laying in bed and the thought occurred to me that I want to be in New York. Up until now it has just seemed like the natural thing to do. It wasn't a matter of wanting it, I just didn't think there was anywhere else to go. Now I want it, and that makes things 10 times easier. The feeling may not last, but for now its working.

adventures

My favorite adventures are the ones I find on craigslist. today i bought a couch and a coffee table from 2 different people. Each of those people were remarkable in their own way, one was a filmmaker, the other was a sculptor. They were both so nice, and great conversationalists. I want to be friends with them so badly, I just don't quite know how to make the transition from craiglist buyer to "hey lets hang out sometime."

update

Alissa pointed out that I should post something new already. She's right. Updates are as follows:
1. Last night a friend came to visit from Chicago. I knew him in Vegas 5 years ago. He helped me remember who I am. It was better than great. It's been a long time since I've been able to talk with someone and feel like we completely understand eachother. So much gets lost in communication styles. Ours fits together.
2. Work has been better lately.
I got insurance, which gave me buyers remorse. I always get depressed when I make a commitment even if its a good one.
3. I discovered the penny lick (sounds gross but let me explain). When you walk down Bedford there is a little ice cream shop with vegan options. I can get a baby cone of chocolate soy ice cream for a dollar. Delicious.
4. Matt Wood is my best everyday friend. Right now I'm sitting on his bed with my laptop while makes music on the computer.
5. I might officially be a working stiff with nothing interesting to talk about. I've lost my personality in 4 months of 50 hour photoshop workweeks.
6. I'm buying a grey couch for $400. Adult purchase?
7. I think I'm seeing Nick and Norah's mixtape movie tonight with the boy's club.