avantmag.com

and what?

i wish i was at home

vignette 4

5 Leaves is a restaurant that was once co-owned by Heath Ledger, it's right on the border of Williamsburg and Greenpoint. She was a little late getting to dinner, he met her there and waited outside. He asked a lot of questions and she ended up talking mostly about herself. He talked about architecture theory and what happens when art is hindered or complimented by function. She asked about what he thinks its like to live in a postmodern world, in a generation that still reaches so for Utopian modernism. She is 26 and working in photography, he is 32 and getting his ph.D. upstate. Dinner was better than expected, mussels, cheese, bread, portuguese wine. The table was small and their knees kept hitting eachother. It was hard to hear. Afterward they went to a party on a 2nd Avenue rooftop. It was a whirlwind of hellos, he was quiet, she introduced him politely. It rained in the city but was dry in Brooklyn. They hugged goodbye on the train home and got off at different stops on the L.

i love everything that is wrong with this photo

my new muse

Thank you to everyone involved in this amazing photoshoot. After a long drought of creativity, I feel excited to do photography again.
here's a little behind the scenes too

GRAHAM MCMULLIN

thanks jen

jen took a portrait of me and this baby lens on our day out in the park.

is it the last straw?

Yes, there is a faint feeling that it is the last straw. I am not an exception to any stereotypes. I will probably disappoint you.

julian

cameron at the chicago art museum

i feel like a genius at 3am

then i feel particularly average by 2pm the next day. It is around 2 pm that I also become frustrated at my lack of lifetime accomplishments. Danit, who sits in front of me at work, can predict like clockwork when I will make a comment about this particular subject every day.

sam dickens

at the end of particularly strange weekend

too late

I already bought my tickets for september 24th-29th. salt lake city here i come.

visitation

so if I came to visit utah in september, when would be the best time to come in order to increase my chances for having the most fun and seeing the most friends?

davey

megan

pete

holly

jen

meg

nate

alex

betty

Hey, this is fun. Do you want me to make one of you? Send me a picture and I'll make one.

mari

2 week list

1. Last Sunday I saw the Dirty Projectors. Sunbeams burst through the rainclouds behind them as they played, I almost laughed at the cinematic perfection of the scene before me.
2. My assistant quit, and my workload has doubled. It has stressed me to the point of not eating. This is a reoccurring problem that flares up more often than I care to admit. It has put me on a diet of saltines and ginger ale.
3. I had some work in an art show in SoHo. Yay for resume builders!
4. I had my first gyno exam at 26 years old.....if you really want to know, I'll tell you about it on the phone.
5. I rode a bike on Governor's Island on Saturday, Jen and I swooned over the tattooed green eyed boy that rented the bikes to us.
6. Summer 2009.

memory capsule 2005

sneaking in to the Maeser building and playing the piano for a friend. the whole building was silent, dark wood walls, dim lights, and a baby grand.

separation

Awake at night, church in the morning. Walking the bridge its all the same.

I still might always want what is bad for me

I might be addicted to doing the wrong thing. For a long time I have known grad school is the way to go for me, but because it seems so right, I can't do it. Its too easy, I have to do New York because its hard, I do photography because its hard, I date boys that drive me nuts because if I really like them, it won't work out. Despite knowing this about myself, I don't really have motivation to change.

best parts of cambridge and akron

Cambridge:
it didn't matter what I wore
harvard looks like hogwarts
vegan food is delicious (thanks betty)
max is still one of my favorite people to photograph
clean parks
seurat sunday afternoons

Ohio:
walking in the grass barefoot without fear of dog poo or hypodermic needles
great thrift stores that have not been picked over
real houses with real yards
back porch
easy access to Target! (again with Target, I know)
7 hours in the car with Jen and I'll still never get bored.

creepy? old? greasy? hip?

Sometimes when you are walking down Bedford, its hard to tell until you get close whether the guy walking toward you is a creepy old man, or a hipster. Depending on how far you are away from Williamsburg, and how close you are getting to Greenpoint, determines the likelihood of which possibility is more likely.

he and she

I enjoy relationships where both parties are allowed to gripe and bite at eachother while remaining attached at the hip. Not that they should gripe and bite all the time, but they should be allowed the courtesy of expressing frustration without fear.

summer 2009

sometimes I really wish my online persona didn't have to be a resume. But lets face it, everything that shows up online is part of your resume, and you're not going to write something that won't get you the job.

i love finding old goodies

i like to move

Does anyone have any suggestions as to where I should move after I'm done with this place? I'm getting antsy.

isn't this the prettiest? i need to do something with it

vignette 3

I was walking across an empty rainy Williamsburg Bridge at midnight, and came across a drummer. He sat at a full drum set, playing to the sounds of the city. No basket for money, it was just his practice space. Above the cars and the J train, misty raindrops fell on us. We mutually smiled, I kept walking, and he kept playing.

vignette 2

So I am on the A train going to Zack and Brenda's house, I look across from me and there is a very interesting man sitting across from me. He is all muscle, black, short dreds, stocky, compact like a warrior. He has long eyelids and long spaces between his facial features. He wears campers, simple dark jeans, and a blue t-shirt. He has a compact black backpack stocked full, and a monopod in one hand. All of this implies strength and masculinity, body builder, Vin Diesel comes to mind, but at the same time, he is flipping and twirling his hair like a girl. Eventually we meet in a staring contest. You know, the way you and another passenger just look around at nothing, but accidentally meet eyes. That happens and I eventually cracked a smile. He smiled back, and we went back to looking at nothing. It was normal, but for some reason I felt like we understood each other. It was probably the monopod. Anyway, I have my head down for a few more stops, he gets out somewhere around 103. I catch him glance back at me through the door. I look to the window and smile as he passes. He smiles back soo big, I see him through the second door still looking back so this time I wave. He gets a skip in his step and grins as the train doors close and he walks down the platform. I don't know what we shared, but it was so nice, and it was so New York.

vignette 1

Friday night I caught a short handsome man in a sweatsuit looking at my shoes. I wanted to be sure so I danced a little, walked a little, and sure enough he was still watching. I got on the train and stood next to him. He burst into a big smile and a thick Italian accent and told me they were the best shoes he had ever seen. I was getting out a piece of paper to write where I had got them, when I accidentally fell onto a 7 foot man with long curly metal hair. I said sorry, and he said, "It's alright, your shoes are really awesome."

the line reads

and it was the summer of 2009.

using gradient maps

no joke

This is what I look like after sitting outside for an hour reading the ensign. And it really hurts too! I should explain, I pulled up my v-neck shirt and rolled up the sleeves; hence the red patches. I tend to think that the sun can't get me, especially if I'm reading holy literature. What a fool.

10 things i learned while in vegas this weekend

1. my mom was in theatre in junior high and played the tin man in the wizard of oz
2. my grandmother has an unfiltered disposition, especially in front of a crowd
3. holly is amazing, I need her to be my life assistant
4. alex and I are a lot alike (knew that, just further affirmed)
5. my great great grandmother was in a mental hospital for 30 years of her life (which is strangely relieving, it explains a lot)
6. my dad is really cool (I new that one already)
7. My homeward is amazing (already knew). Leaving the church would be too hard because of their humbling examples of awesomeness.
8. I love target in vegas because it is mostly empty, clean, and has lots of stuff you need
9. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have a wedding
10. I can iron 10 tables of linen in 2 hours

best catch ever

3 generations

thinking faces

cuz

11:38 pm

I will blog about my sister's wedding soon, but for now I just want to recount the last few hours. Got home from the airport, bike ride, deliiiiicccious french dinner compliments of matt wood, - halibut, oysters, and strawberry shortcake for dessert, bike ride, lord of the rings at clark's house, bike ride home, I am fat and happy and very very sleepy. alissa is ichatting me right now.

hip hip soooooo hip

It feels crappy to fill out a profile about yourself and find out that you are a hipster. Not that you are completely defined by liking joy division, photography, bikes, and blackberries, but when you look at it online it can be embarrassing. I wasn't sold these favorites, or was I? It does help that I still believe in God and go to church, that is not really a hipster thing to do. I also smile a lot.