All I know is that right now my life is not what I want it to be. I keep paying my dues thinking that it will end in something better. But what is that really? More work in retail? More work trying to sell something? A bigger paycheck? For what? I never really planned anything for myself, I just did whatever came to me. That is how I got the job at fredflare. I'm grateful for it, I'm so lucky and it is a great opportunity, its just not a job that points me in the direction I want to be headed. I thought it would be a good way to put me in New York comfortably so I could make necessary connections to do something greater. However with 50 hour workweeks, modest pay, and an "in front of the computer always" commitment, those connections have been hard to make. I've been reading online about jobs that interest me, something in academia, archiving, library science, teaching, art therapy, exhibitions; all of which require more education. I didn't want to go to grad school without a purpose, I didn't want to postpone my entering the professional world. But, the jobs I want, and the people I want to be surrounded by, are not found in a consumer field. I can't keep doing something I don't care about, I just don't know the steps I need to make to get out of it. I need a counselor, a mentor, or a map.